Good morning, happy Thursday, and welcome to yet another exciting round of being forced to choose between the work of artists who have dedicated their professional lives to telling children that each of us is special in our own special way. Nice try, hippies — someone’s going home today!
Today’s contestants are a sentient 200-year-old hairpiece and a man who is so confused he sees visions of blue bears. Things are getting WACKY up in KidVid 2012. As always, we will leave the polls open until 10 PM EST, at which point we’ll pack the disconsolate loser out to Chuck E. Cheese for some pizza and root beer. Mmmmm…root beer.
Well, round one of the 2012 KidVid tournament is over, leaving a salty trail of kindie musicians’ tears in its wake as the wheat was brutally culled from the chaff through day after day of merciless voting. The non-winners have limped home, and the victors stand strong and tall. Great job, every — wait, what? We aren’t finished yet?
Apparently not. Those sadists over at Zooglobble crave more of your sweet, sweet votes, so today we kick off another KidVid battle royale. Two videos shall enter! One shall leave! YOU MUST DECIDE.
As always, we’ll be leaving the polls open until 10 PM EST, at which point we close the booths, turn off the lights, and announce that Putin won with 86 percent of the vote. Here are your contenders:
After all the roughhousing, horseplay, and shenanigans we went through during our first round of voting in KidVid 2012, where else can this tournament possibly go? I mean…who can forget the way Steve Weeks’ mom called the cops on Todd McHatton for toiletpapering the Weeks’ house? Or the way Steve retaliated by covering Todd’s dad’s car with shaving cream and baloney? Clearly, the quest for Number One is making our favorite kindie performers crazy. But we press on, because we are journalists, and living dangerously is what we do. (Except when 3rd & Bird is on. Or Octonauts. Other than that, totally dangerous around here.)
Where were we? Oh yeah, another round of voting! Once more, it’s time for you to do your patriotic duty and send one video on to the next bracket while casting another into the cold, inky blackness of defeat. CHOOSE WISELY.