Author Archives: Scott Malchus

Blu-Ray review: Jackie Chan in “The Spy Next Door”

There’s an old adage attributed to W.C. Fields that goes, “Never work with children or animals.” To that I would add Chinese actors who have difficulty with English. While Chan has the charm of any gifted comedian, he can’t act in English at all. Add to the mix a bunch of kid actors perform like they’re being coached off screen, plus the thespian talents of Billy Ray Cyrus, and you have an idea of the quality acting in this movie.  If you can get past that, as most children, ages 7-12 can, then you can appreciate The Spy Next Door for its charms.

First of all, the story is sweet. Jackie Chan plays Bob, a superspy living in the suburbs, next door to single mom, Gillian (Amber Valletta) and her three young kids: Farren (Madeline Carroll), the snarky teenager, Ian (Will Shadley), the nerdy, socially awkward son, and Nora (Alina Foley), the precocious little daughter. When the film opens, Bob and Gillian have been dating and he wants to take the next step in their relationship. He has decided to retire from espionage and would like to propose. The only problem is that he’s never bonded with the kids, and frankly, they think Bob is the biggest dork they’ve ever met (a guise he assumes part to keep his identity incognito from the rest of the world). Gillian is reluctant to commit until the kids accept Bob. As the movie gods would have it, she is called away for a family emergency; Bob volunteers to watch the children.

Meanwhile, Poldark, a nefarious Russian spy (played by Lazytown star, Magnus Scheving) has escaped from custody and Bob’s old CIA buddies (Cyrus and George Lopez) call him back in for one final mission. As you would expect, the secret agenting and the babysitting worlds collide, leading to a disastrous breakup with Gillian and everyone’s life in danger. This being a family movie, no one’s life is ever really in danger. The villains are too buffoonish to do any harm, and Bob is just too smart to let them get away with anything.

The Spy Next Door bears some similarity to The Pacifier, that Vin Diesel hit film from several years back. Jackie Chan is a champ throughout this film and keeps the energy of everything up.  Likewise, director Brian Levant keeps the pace moving, leaving very little room for the dull moments that kill these kinds of movies. Unfortunately, and I mentioned this above, the acting sometimes borders on painful. The kids. The fake Russian accents. Jackie Chan and Billy Ray Cyrus.

I know, I know, “it’s a family film! Give it a break!” I have given it a break, the first time I watched it. But the 6th and 7th time my children popped in the DVD I had to exit the room. This just means that I’m definitely not the real audience for this movie. Once is enough for grown ups, but kids will love it time and a gain. The reason is Chan’s personality. His talents as an action hero and a physical comedian make watching him a joy, especially for kids, who like to see bad guys get what’s coming to them. Your children will love The Spy Next Door, and it’s a safe family movie that should you walk away for a couple of minutes… or the entire movie, you won’t have anything to worry about.

Extras for this Blue-Ray/DVD combo set are minimal. Worth checking out is the featurette, “Jackie Chan: Stunt Master and Mentor – Working with the King of Action”. It’s a loving tribute to the star and shows what kind of a professional he is on set/ Chan comes across as one of the real good guys in Hollywood and his cast and crew genuinely seem to worship him.

DVD reviews: “Iron Man: The Complete Animated Series” and “X-Men, Volume 5”

Just in time for the release of Iron Man 2, Buena Vista has put out Iron Man: The Complete Animated Series on DVD. The cartoon ran during the mid-90’s, back when Marvel was churning out their properties for syndication. Unlike their massively successful Spider Man and X-Men animated series (both of which were innovative in their own way), Iron Man struggled in the ratings and only lasted two complete seasons. The inherent problem with Iron Man was that he was not a household name to most kids; he wasn’t as tortured as the X-Men and he wasn’t as fun as Spidey. It gets kind of boring when a millionaire can just whip up another costume to battle super villains, much like Tony Stark was able to do.

Of course, this series aired long before the hit film, Iron Man, and it’s blockbuster sequel. Thanks to the popularity of those two live action movies, we comic book geeks and youngsters now have the opportunity to watch Iron Man, War Machine and the cadre of characters that occupy his universe have at it in this old cartoon. Problem is, just like most of Marvel’s animated ventures back in the 90’s, the final product isn’t that great.

Sure, the stories are decent and the voice acting is overall good, but the animation is clunky and subpar. The armored suits are bulky and the character animation is not smooth at all. You can’t blame this on the era, as this was also the time of the excellent Batman: The Animated Series, as well as Tiny Toons and Pinky and the Brain. Moreover, Nickelodeon had begun creating some wonderful animated series. The only reason for the animation in this series looks bad is cheapness. I’m sorry to be critical, especially for a cartoon intended for young kids, but there is no other reason for it. When something looks this weak, I tend to get cynical and think that the only reason for this cartoon was the merchandising opportunities.

Nevertheless, there are some exciting adventures and my son certainly lit up when we sat down to watch the show together. However, he was much more attentive than I was, so that will tell you may get out of Iron Man: The Complete Animated Series when you choose to view it.

At the same time Marvel was churning out Iron Man cartoons, they were still in the X-Men business, and Buena Vista has also released the final volume of episodes from their popular animated, X-Men, show from the early 90’s. Volume 5 of the is for die-hards (i.e. those who own volumes 1-4) and young kids only. Picking up where Volume 4 left off, there is an obvious dip in the production value of these final episodes. While most of the voice actors remain the same, the animation company used was obviously different and some of the characters are so off model that they do not look at all like the same characters from the previous DVD’s/seasons. Think I’m being judgmental? It was my eight year old son who pointed out the differences to me. I can only imagine that Marvel was trying to cut costs by switching to a cheaper overseas animation company. What a shame. Instead of finishing out the show on a high note, the company delivered quality junk.

This is not Buena Vista’s fault, mind you, as the company had nothing to do with the production of this show. They bought it a few years ago and have been airing it on their channels. If Disney had been involved I know that the series would have looked excellent.  If you can look past the bad animation there are some powerful stories in these episodes. With X-Men you always get an excellent message of tolerance, especially when the character Nightcrawler is involved. Although not a regular, he does appear in one well written episode about the search for his birth mother, Mystique. Mystique is a blue skinned shape shifter who abandoned Nightcrawler (himself blue, with the appearance of the devil) as an infant. Later in life, Mystique raised the X-Man, Rogue, as her own. Thus, Nightcrawler and Rogue are almost adopted siblings.  The two heroes go on a mission to find her and when Nightcrawler confronts Mystique, the scenes are poignant and full of hope.

Elsewhere on the DVD set you get more of the same humans hunting down mutants plots, plus an appearance by Captain America! It’s nothing new, but it will still excite youngsters who have worn out the previous four volumes. As a parent, though, you will most likely leave the room, even if you are the most ardent fanboy.

With the release of these two DVD collections (and hopefully a deluxe Spider Man: the Animated Series package in the works) I hope that Disney is trying to whet the appetites of comic fans and kids in anticipation of some future, better cartoon series featuring the Marvel characters they now own.

DVD review: “Tooth Fairy”

Dwayne Johnson has certainly muscled out an acting career for himself, hasn’t he? Pro wrestling notwithstanding, the man formerly known as “The Rock” has been an action hero, he has shown excellent comedic chops, and now he’s nudging his way into the family film market. You know what? He’s doing a good job. The material he’s given isn’t always the greatest, but Johnson on screen is likable and isn’t afraid to make a fool of himself if it means bettering the movie. Moreover, he genuinely seems to be having a good time whenever he’s on camera. What this does is help the audience have a good time with him.

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Such is the case with his newest DVD, Tooth Fairy, a fantasy film from Walden Media and 20th Century Fox that’s more than entertaining, even if it hits most of the same notes of every family film out there.

Johnson plays Derek Thompson, a minor league hockey player past his prime.

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Instead of being a force on the ice, he’s just an enforcer, sent into games to knock out opposing players. He’s earned the nickname “The Tooth Fairy” thanks to his habit of hitting his opponents so hard they end up missing teeth. Derek eats up the attention, even though he’s seen more as a novelty than an integral part of the hockey team. This point is driven home when a hotshot young player arrives and Derek is relegated to protecting the kid on the ice so he doesn’t get hurt. The tooth fairy is now the babysitter

Thanks to Johnson’s natural charm as a performer, Derek comes across as good-natured, even though he’s pretty cynical. For example, when kids tell him they want to grow up to play hockey be just like him, Derek doesn’t encourage them. Instead, he tells them the long odds they’re against and that they should choose something else to do with their lives. Someone who is able to look past his faults is Carly, a single mom that he’s been dating. Ashley Judd, who once starred in movies but now seems relegated to supporting roles, plays Carly. She brings a lot of warmth and definitely the right amount of strength and believability to her part. Carly has two children, six year old Tess (Destiny Whitlock) and teenager, Randy (Chase Ellison), a shy boy who has channeled his feelings into becoming an excellent guitar player. Continue reading