Tag Archives: Junk food

Aunt Jemima Confetti Waffles

Junk Food Review: Aunt Jemima Confetti Waffles

Aunt Jemima Confetti Waffles

Confetti: It's What's for Breakfast

I get it. Confetti is colorful, and it makes people think of parties — or, if they’re like my doofus younger brother, they think of Funfetti cake (which I happen to think is a gross Pillsbury prank that an alarming number of my fellow Americans have fallen for, but to each his own).

But still. When our great corporate breakfast makers feel compelled to add colored dots to foods that are traditionally slathered in syrup, I can’t help feeling we’ve wandered into a very dark place — so naturally, when I saw that Aunt Jemima had added Confetti Waffles to her line of poor dietary choices, I couldn’t resist. It’s about time someone livened up the stupid waffle, right? It’s just a cooked batter disk with notches for collecting pure sugar. BORING. Bring on the breakfast party!

So here’s the funny thing: Aunt Jemima Confetti Waffles (which join the much older Confetti Pancakes, which I’ve never eaten, because I refuse to put pancakes in a toaster or microwave, and therefore cannot vouch for) are actually quasi-semi-healthyish, at least in the admittedly desperate context of frozen crap you heat up for the most important meal of the day. As the box proudly proclaims, they’re made with REAL EGGS and MILK, and despite the idiotic confetti gimmick, they don’t pack a lot of sugar (two grams per waffle) or fat (2.25 per). No high fructose corn syrup or artificial colors, either.

In fact, as much as I hate to admit it, these things really aren’t bad. Whatever Aunt Jemima does to make those confetti dots, it works — they’re sweet, but not overpoweringly so. Toast them up and eat them without syrup, and they make a decent breakfast snack. For serious! My four-year-old son, who loves sugar so much that he recently claimed we baked his big sister a birthday cake “to make me happy,” ate his plain. (Of course, he also yelled “THIS TASTES LIKE FOOD COLORING” with an ecstatic grin on his face, but whatever.)

So you win this round, Aunt Jemima — but I draw the line here. When you finally get around to rolling out Confetti Pancakes Wrapped Around Sausage on a Stick, you and I will have words.

The Lunch Love Community Project Looks Delicious

We talk a lot here about the pop culture we feed our kids.

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But what about, you know, food? It seems like a pretty basic thing to consider, but take a look at any random schoolyard in the country, and you’ll see that a lot of parents aren’t considering it enough.

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To be fair, it can be tough to maintain a healthy diet for ourselves, let alone our finicky little people — we’re surrounded by sodium, sugar, and preservatives, and any thirtysomething parent who still feels the residual tingle of childhood when walking past those brightly colored boxes of Trix and Cap’n Crunch in the cereal aisle should be able to sympathize with the junior set’s hunger for junk food.

The Lunch Love Community Project is here to help.

Will they make it so Pop Tarts aren’t so sinfully delicious, and beets taste like something besides dirt?

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No. But they are offering support and guidance to parents who want to help their kids eat healthy food, starting with — you guessed it — school lunches. Observe:

To learn more about the project — and see more videos — visit their site here.

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