Category Archives: Movies

“The Garbage Pail Kids” Will Return to Theaters

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In 1986, when I was in seventh grade, Garbage Pail Kids were all the rage, and I was one of the most avid collectors in my school (much to my parents’ chagrin).

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By the time The Garbage Pail Kids Movie came out in August of 1987, I couldn’t have cared less (and judging from the box office receipts, those feelings were shared by most of my peers). Ultimately, it went down as one of the worst flops (and critical disasters) in the history of modern film.

I guess what I’m saying is this: My jaw dropped a little when I read that the Tornate Company, a production shingle run by ex-Disney CEO Michael Eisner, is planning a new Garbage Pail Kids Movie. I mean, it’s obvious that Hollywood has an unquenchable thirst for easily rebooted brands, but the Garbage Pail Kids? Really? How can anyone expect this to end well?

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One positive sign: The new-look Garbage Pail Kids Movie is being directed by PES, (aptly) described by Collider as an “acclaimed creator of a number of stop-motion animated shorts.” So if nothing else, it should at least look better than the original film, which was unrelentingly cheap and ugly. On the other hand, I’m not sure Garbage Pail Kids were ever supposed to be anything but cheap and ugly.

Take a look at a PES short — and the trailer for the original Garbage Pail Kids Movie — below. Will you be watching the reboot?

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PES: Fresh Guacamole

Trailer for The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

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First Look at Disney’s “Lone Ranger” Reboot

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"The Lone Ranger"

Walt Disney Pictures

Well, here you go, folks — Disney’s letting you officially lay your eyeballs on Armie “Lone Ranger” Hammer and Johnny “Tonto” Depp for the first time. The movie won’t be out until next May, so we’ll presumably see a lot more of these stills (along with three or four trailers), but in the meantime…what do you think?

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LEGO Unveils “Avengers” Figures

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Avengers LEGOs

LEGO

Continuing what seems like this week’s theme of “new offerings from the product lines of overly licensed properties,” LEGO has released shots of its new Avengers sets, timed to invade store shelves in tandem with the Marvel blockbuster on May 4.

I pooh-poohed movie tie-in hysteria in my Lorax post, but that was partly because A) the ads people seem to be most upset about aren’t super kid-targeted, and B) the movie has a message that I think is worth taking a few extra steps to spread, even if doing so requires things that seem counteractive to the message itself. The Avengers, on the other hand, isn’t about anything other than blowing stuff up — and although Avengers director Joss Whedon is a nerd king who could very well do right by the franchise, the movie’s trailers suggest it’s just more of the same CGI and loud explosions we line up for every summer, and these LEGO sets are designed purely to make kids beg their parents for new toys.

All of which is part of the price of procreating in a mass media society. But these are the product tie-ins that ring the hollowest for me. Typing about this stuff makes me feel like I need to wash my hands, especially given LEGO’s nobler origins. I know a lot of people who loathe the rather patronizing “LEGO Friends” product line, but if I could start tearing pages out of the company catalog, I’d start with stuff like this.

Take a look at full-size shots of the figures (including what might be your first good look at the movie’s villains, albeit in block form) over at Empire.

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